Accepting Responsibility—a Story of Bill Russell

by Jim Rohn

Most people dread accepting responsibility. That’s just a fact of life, and we can see it in operation every day. Yes, we can see avoidance of responsibility all the time in both our personal and professional lives. And here’s something else we can see just as often: We can see that most people aren’t as successful as they wish they were. Do you see there is a connection between these two very common phenomena?

It’s in your best interest to take responsibility for everything you do. But that’s only the beginning. Many times it’s even best to take responsibility for the mistakes of others, especially when you’re in a managerial or leadership role.

During the years when professional basketball was just beginning to become really popular, Bill Russell, who played center for the Boston Celtics, was one of the greatest players in the pro league. He was especially known for his rebounding and his defensive skills.

But like a lot of very tall centers, Russell was never much of a free throw shooter. His free throw percentage was quite a bit below average, in fact. But this low percentage didn’t really give a clear picture of Russell’s ability as an athlete. And in one game he gave a very convincing demonstration of this.

It was the final game of a championship series between Boston and the Los Angeles Lakers. With about 12 seconds left to play, the Lakers were behind by one point and Boston had the ball. It was obvious that the Lakers would have to foul one of Boston’s players in order to get the ball back, and they chose to foul Bill Russell.

This was a perfectly logical choice, since statistically Russell was the worst free throw shooter on the court at that moment. If he missed the shot, the Lakers would probably get the ball back and they’d still have enough time to try to win the game. But if Russell made his first free throw, the Lakers’ chances would be seriously diminished. And if he made both shots, the game would essentially be over.

Bill Russell had a very peculiar style of shooting free throws. Today, no self-respecting basketball player anywhere in America would attempt it. Aside from the question of whether it’s an effective way to shoot a basket, it just looked too ridiculous. Whenever he had to shoot a free throw, the six-foot-eleven Russell would start off holding the ball in both hands about waist high, then he’d squat down and as he straightened up he’d let go of the ball. It looked like he was trying to throw a bucket of dirt over a wall.

But regardless of how he looked, as soon as Bill Russell was fouled, he knew the Celtics were going to win the game. He was absolutely certain of it because, in a situation like this, statistics and percentages mean nothing. There was a much more important factor at work, something that no one has found a way to express in numbers and decimal points.

Simply put, Bill Russell was a player who wanted to take responsibility for the success or failure of his team. He wanted the weight on his shoulders in a situation like this. No possibility for excuses. No possibility of blaming anyone else if the game was lost. No second-guessing. Bill Russell wanted the ball in his own hands and nobody else’s. And, like magic, even if he’d missed every free throw he’d ever shot in his life before this, he knew he was going to make this one. And that is exactly what happened.

That is what virtually always happens when a man or woman accepts responsibility eagerly and with confidence. I’ve always felt that accepting responsibility is one of the highest forms of human maturity. A willingness to be accountable, to put yourself on the line, is really the defining characteristic of adulthood.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

Taking Time for Yourself in a Relationship

by John Gray

We have all heard this advice before. No matter how wonderful togetherness feels in a relationship, it is still crucial for partners to take time for themselves. There is simply no way that a man or a woman can fulfill all of their partner's needs; it's just impossible to do. Too often people will give up a favorite hobby, sport or pastime in the beginning of a relationship in order to devote more time and energy to making the relationship work. But, what happens down the road when one or both partners realize that they are terribly out of balance and not taking time for themselves? Relationship stress, miscommunication, or worse: resentment and emotional pain can result.

It is healthy to have different interests. In fact, giving up our own interests and the little things that we do to nurture ourselves when a relationship starts will eventually lead to resentment down the road.

It's important for both partners to value quality relaxation time. There is absolutely no need to feel guilty about spending time alone. Independence is good for both men and women, no matter how close they may be in the relationship. Typically, when one partner actively takes some alone time, their partner is encouraged to do the same.

How our differences compliment each other:
Just as men and women have different needs in a relationship, they also have different reasons for needing time to themselves. Too much togetherness usually results in partners expecting too much from each other. Women may tend to smother their mates, while men may seem cold and uncaring. It is healthy for each partner to take time out to explore his or her individual interests.

What Men Need:
Men need to periodically pull away. Remember that men are like rubber bands. It is his natural cycle to get close, pull away, and get close again. It is important for men to fulfill their need for independence. Men automatically alternate between needing intimacy and autonomy. Give a man his space and he will be a better, more attentive, partner. When a man gets too close and doesn't pull away, he often experiences increased moodiness, irritability, passivity, and defensiveness.

Also, when a man is in his cave, he wants to be left alone. He is working out his problems and frustrations by either doing something alone, like reading the paper or watching TV, or doing something active with his male friends.

Most men are happy when their mates do something fun for themselves at these times. It means that she is not sitting around waiting for him to come out of the cave. He will come out ready to talk and be intimate again, and she will have curbed her frustrations by being good to herself and having some fun.

What Women Need:
It is good for a woman's self esteem to take care of herself. She can get wrapped up in taking care of her family and forget how much she needs to nurture herself. Particularly when a man is off in his cave, she can enjoy the time alone to go shopping, work in her garden, go to a class at the gym, or simply languish in the simple pleasure of soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine.

It is especially important for a woman to cultivate relationships with other women. Women need to talk about what's happening in their lives. On Venus, this is an important part of relationship building. Since this is not the case on Mars, it is wonderful for a woman to get together with her girlfriends so that they can talk about, and listen to, each other's problems, without judgment or offering unsolicited advice.

Couples can even plan these separate times apart. For instance, Tuesday could be his poker night with the boys, and Thursday her night for dinner and a movie with her girlfriends. Both partners will not only appreciate the time to do the things that make them feel good, but will come back feeling renewed and excited to be in such a healthy, well-balanced relationship.

-- John Gray

Lifelong Learning: Your Key to Employability

by Connie Podesta

In today's business climate, no one's job is completely secure. While your specific job may be necessary today, that does not mean it will be necessary tomorrow. As the future workplace continues to evolve, many employees who don't consistently update their skills and industry knowledge often find themselves out of a job. This doesn't have to happen to you. When you take the steps to understand and anticipate future and industry trends that could ultimately change the nature of your job, you take the first step to lifelong learning.

The fact is that jobs in almost every industry are being totally revamped in order for organizations to remain competitive. Are you aware of the trends, ideas, innovations and advancements in your field that might bring about serious change in your organization this year? In five years? How will these trends affect your job? What is your future going to look like? If you want to stay employed, you must know what will be expected of you down the road. What skills do you have that will be obsolete? What skills will be needed that you don't have yet?

All the knowledge we have today will represent only 1% of the knowledge that will be available in 2050. In other words, we can never stop learning. There will always be more to know. And the more you know, the better chance you have of staying employed. How have you responded to technological changes, as well as all of the other changes that are going on in the workplace? Do you accept new responsibilities and challenges and see them as opportunities to increase your value to your employer? Before you get left behind with inadequate skills, use the following suggestions to help you identify ways to enhance your current skills.

1. Identify Skills that are of Value to Your Company

To assess your value to your organization, you must be aware of the skills you possess that help make you a valuable employee. Analyzing your skills objectively is the place to start. First, determine what you are good at doing and then take an honest look at how many other employees in your department or your organization possess the same or similar skills. Some organizations place a high value on specialists who are very good at one thing, while others value more generalized knowledge across a wider spectrum. To remain employable, it's important to know where your organization places greater emphasis. If you are not aware of your strengths and their value to your organization, it is probable that you aren't using them to their greatest advantage. Even if you are aware of your strengths, start expanding your level of expertise and learn new skills to increase your value.

In addition to self-assessment, it's important to also get feedback from your manager or supervisor. When asking for an evaluation, perception is the name of the game. You can have all the right motives, justify your behavior, and defend your attitude to the hilt. However, if your boss, co-workers, colleagues, and customers perceive you as apathetic, irritable, argumentative, or impatient, then that is their reality. You need to address their comments not by tirelessly defending your actions, but by working to understand what it is you say and do that creates this perception in other people's minds. While it takes great confidence, even courage, to ask for honest feedback, it's the first step to assessing your skills and seeing where you need to make improvement.

2. Keep Your Skills Up to Date

Even if your skills are of current value to your organization, you must be prepared for the future. The vast majority of people who lost their jobs due to downsizing or cutbacks revealed that they knew of the possibility that their jobs might be eliminated-even months in advance. Nevertheless, they did not go back to school, network, or train for another job in their own organization, or look into the possibilities of other employment or of starting their own business. Most did not even have an updated resume when they received the bad news. What about you? Are you preparing for the possibility that your job many be eliminated in the future?

What new skills do you need to acquire, and which of your current skills need enhancement? Perhaps you could develop your computer skills, enroll in a class or attend a seminar, learn better people skills, become a better problem solver, or improve your writing skills. The list of possibilities is endless. Most people, however, are working longer hours than ever before and the thought of going back to school at night or taking a class on the weekend may be something you don't want to think about. But the thought of being unemployed may be even more staggering.

Once you determine the skills you need, arrange to get that training in a way that is the least disruptive to your life. You'll find that there is a wide variety of options to meet your training and educational needs. An additional benefit is the opportunity to meet and learn from other people if you will only step outside your comfort zone to get to know them at training sessions and workshops. It's amazing that in today's rapidly changing job market there are still employees who feel that they have no need to learn anything new. This is not the time to demonstrate a lack of interest in learning anything new-not when a commitment to learning is so necessary in order to stay employed.

3. Find a Mentor and Learn from a Pro

A mentor is a wise and trusted teacher or guide who can help to ensure your future employability. Having a mentor is another way to sharpen your skills and acquire new ones. You may have thought that someone you admire is far too busy to have time for you. In fact, many people are willing to share their knowledge and experience with those who want to learn.

Unfortunately, many employees never ask for help or advice. They believe that asking for help will pinpoint them as being inept at their job. Nothing could be further from the truth. When you seek help from a mentor, you show that you want to discuss ideas, support others, and work as a team. It shows upper management that you take your job seriously and want to continually improve.

Many employees find mentors in their own organizations who contribute to the success of their careers. No matter what field you're in or how much you know, there are people who can teach you something more. Make sure you take advantage of any opportunities you have to learn from the pros in your business or profession. It's an important part of your commitment to lifelong learning.

The Final Steps

Above all else, be sure to stay current with all industry trends. You can do this by reading professional magazines and trade journals that relate to your business. In addition to reading, network, ask questions, and attend in-service training programs to determine how you fit into the big picture. If you don't see your job as a part of that big picture-as part of the future of your business and your organization-learn what you can do to change that. Make sure you join business associations and attend conferences. They provide the opportunity to meet your competition firsthand, see what the latest trends are, and make new friends.

Granted, committing to lifelong learning requires time and dedication. And while you may think you don't have the time to implement all these ideas, if you want to stay employed, you need to make the time for lifelong learning. It's the only way to ensure lifelong employment.

-- Connie Podesta

Read The Right Books

by Vic Johnson
(excerpted from Day by Day with James Allen)

“People are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound.’ - As A Man Thinketh

We spend thousands of dollars a year for clothing, cosmetics and other items to change or improve our outward appearance but very little money or time to change our inward condition. Many people easily spend an hour a day brushing, flossing, bathing, and shaving the outside, but find every reason in the world not to spend even a few minutes a day improving the inside.

How do you apply what you learn from As A Man Thinketh? Since it is our thoughts that determine the life we will have, you must focus on doing those things that will change your thoughts, and nothing is more effective at changing your thoughts than reading the right books.

I first read As A Man Thinketh because of Charlie “Tremendous’ Jones. I had attended a seminar where he spoke and he had a table set up at the seminar where, among other things, he offered a huge discount on a big bundle of various personal development and self-help books. I bought the big bundle because I'm a sucker for a “good deal.’ As it turned out, it was one of the best deals of my life, because several years later, when I finally got around to reading the little book, As A Man Thinketh literally changed my life.

Here is what Charlie Jones wrote in the Forward to the book that I purchased: “You are today the same you'll be in five years from now, except for two things: the people you meet and the books you read. The people you meet can't always be with you, but what you read in books can remain with you a lifetime. How often we hear of individuals who began a new era in their lives from the reading of a single book.’

Why not start a new habit today? Spend just fifteen minutes every day before going to bed or upon rising, and read from a personal development book or biography of someone you admire. At the end of the year you will have read about 12 books – at the end of five years about 60 books!! Through your changed thoughts you will have become much more like the “vision you enthrone in your heart.’

As English writer Aldous Huxley observed, “Every person who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant, and interesting.’

And that's worth thinking about.

Vic Johnson

Establishing Dreams and Goals

by Jim Rohn
(Excerpted from Week Six of the Jim Rohn One-Year Success Plan)

One of the amazing things we have been given as humans is the unquenchable desire to have dreams of a better life, and the ability to establish goals to live out those dreams. Think of it: We can look deep within our hearts and dream of a better situation for ourselves and our families; dream of better financial lives and better emotional or physical lives; certainly dream of better spiritual lives. But what makes this even more powerful is that we have also been given the ability to not only dream but to pursue those dreams and not only to pursue them, but the cognitive ability to actually lay out a plan and strategies (setting goals) to achieve those dreams. Powerful! And that is what we will discuss here: How to dream dreams and establish goals to get those dreams.

What are your dreams and goals? This isn't what you already have or what you have done, but what you want. Have you ever really sat down and thought through your life values and decided what you really want? Have you ever taken the time to truly reflect, to listen quietly to your heart, to see what dreams live within you? Your dreams are there. Everyone has them. They may live right on the surface, or they may be buried deep from years of others telling you they were foolish, but they are there.

So how do we know what our dreams are? This is an interesting process and it relates primarily to the art of listening. This is not listening to others; it is listening to yourself. If we listen to others, we hear their plans and dreams (and many will try to put their plans and dreams on us). If we listen to others, we can never be fulfilled. We will only chase elusive dreams that are not rooted deep within us. No, we must listen to our own hearts.

Let's take a look at some practical steps/thoughts on hearing from our hearts on what our dreams are:

Take time to be quiet. This is something that we don't do enough in this busy world of ours. We rush, rush, rush, and we are constantly listening to noise all around us. The human heart was meant for times of quiet, to peer deep within. It is when we do this that our hearts are set free to soar and take flight on the wings of our own dreams! Schedule some quiet "dream time" this week. No other people. No cell phone. No computer. Just you, a pad, a pen, and your thoughts.

Think about what really thrills you. When you are quiet, think about those things that really get your blood moving. What would you LOVE to do, either for fun or for a living? What would you love to accomplish? What would you try if you were guaranteed to succeed? What big thoughts move your heart into a state of excitement and joy? When you answer these questions you, will feel great and you will be in the "dream zone." It is only when we get to this point that we experience what our dreams are!

Write down all of your dreams as you have them. Don't think of any as too outlandish or foolish - remember, you're dreaming! Let the thoughts fly and take careful record.

Now, prioritize those dreams. Which are most important? Which are most feasible? Which would you love to do the most? Put them in the order in which you will actually try to attain them. Remember, we are always moving toward action, not just dreaming.

Here is the big picture: Life is too short to not pursue your dreams. Someday your life will near its end and all you will be able to do is look backwards. You can reflect with joy or regret. Those who dream, who set goals and act on them to live out their dreams are those who live lives of joy and have a sense of peace when they near the end of their lives. They have finished well, for themselves and for their families.

Remember: These are the dreams and goals that are born out of your heart and mind. These are the goals that are unique to you and come from who you were created to be and gifted to become. Your specific goals are what you want to attain because they are what will make your life joyful and bring your family's life into congruence with what you want it to be.

Jim Rohn

Humility is Tremendous

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

I know no man who feels fully qualified to speak as an expert on "leadership." In fact, it seems that those who appear to be the most qualified are often the most reluctant.

Knowing that I am a student of the word, rather than an authority, I think my attitude toward what I'm about to say can best be described in the story of a young minister preparing to give his first sermon. As he read and observed, he could see so clearly everyone's mistakes, and how simple it would be to set everyone straight. He couldn't wait for the big day when he would be able to lower the boom on the congregation. Finally, the big day came, and he rose for the great occasion. After a few minutes, he realized he was in trouble and began to sense that maybe he wasn't the hope of the world. After a few more minutes, he began to wish he'd never heard of preaching, and that there was a trap door behind the pulpit that would allow him to press a button and quickly slip out of sight. Of course, there wasn't and finally, after five minutes, which seemed to be hours, he said a hasty benediction. With his head hung, he left the pulpit, discouraged, broken and beaten. As he walked to the rear, an old, white haired war-horse slipped his arm over the boy's shoulder and said, "Son, IF YOU'D HAVE GONE UP, LIKE YOU CAME DOWN - YOU COULD HAVE COME DOWN LIKE YOU WENT UP."

Humility is the quality that will enable you and others to enjoy your success.-- Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

"I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps." Mahatma Gandhi

The Value of Shared Thinking

by Dr. John C. Maxwell

"The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible." --- Richard M. DeVos

I used to think that leaders liked change and followers didn't. I had this idea that leaders were out on the edge and they had a machete and they were cutting a path through the jungles of life, and they were always out in the front leading change, and the followers were way back crossing their arms singing, "I Shall Not Be Moved."

What I've learned is this--that leaders don't like change any more than followers unless it is their idea! Think about it for a moment—when change does not occur in an organization, it's never a follower's problem because followers do what followers do—followers follow. When change does not occur in the organization, it's because some of the leaders in that organization didn't like the change. And why don't leaders like the changes? Because they're always asking, "What's this going to do to me? How's this going to affect my turf?" And they say to themselves, "This could affect my turf. This could hurt me."

Followers seldom stop change because they lack influence; leaders often stop change because they have influence. The potential for change in your organization increases with participation. What you want to do is involve as many people as you possibly can in the change process. In fact, successful people know how to get shared thinking in their arena. They not only have their thinking but they know how to bring people around and say, "What do you think about this?"

A great idea just doesn't become a great idea. A great idea is a compounding effect of a lot of good ideas; it's out of the getting a lot of good ideas on the table that you get a great idea. The right kind of collaboration will drastically improve the quality of the ideas being shared. So the value of understanding shared thinking is that the more good people you bring into a room and get around the table, the higher your odds of getting great ideas.

I do this exercise all the time: Every week, I put different groups of people around a table, depending on what I'm trying to accomplish, to get their ideas on the table. I don't, however, just open up the door and say, "Okay, what do you all think?" You don't want to do that because most people don't think. You don't want to say, "Everybody tell us what you think." Ninety percent of the people don't think at all. Ninety percent of the people just look for a line that's moving and get in it!

So how do you know what kind of person to bring around the table? Listed below are ten kinds of people you want.

1. People whose greatest desire is the success of the idea.
You don't want people around the table who want to see the idea fail. You have to have people around the table who are committed to the success of the idea.

2. People who can compound another person's thought.
You want to bring people around the table who can take somebody else's thought and play off of it and tweak it and make it better.

3. People who emotionally can handle the changes of conversation.
The creative conversation is going to go left and right, and up and down. It's an emotional roller coaster, and you want someone who won't let their feelings get in the way of progress.

4. People who appreciate strengths in others where they are weak.
These are people who can complement one another. For example, where you've got one person who's a focus thinker and another person who's a creative thinker, they will have to be able to appreciate the input of the other.

5. People who recognize their place of value at the table.
They know why they're there. If they don't, you will have a problem.

6. People who place what is best for them below what is best for the team.
These people know to check their egos at the door. Subordinating your own agenda to what is best for everyone is always good.

7. People who can bring out the best thinking of those around them.
When somebody comes up with a great thought, they can probe a little and say, "Come on, go a little bit deeper here. Talk to me a little bit more. Give me some more out of this."

8. People who possess maturity, experience and success in the issue being discussed.
I want all three. I don't want maturity without success, I don't want experience without success, and I certainly don't want success without either.

9. People who take ownership and responsibility for the decisions that are made.
They have the ability to come to the table and, after there is a shared concept and idea or thought that evolves around it, they can take ownership of it.

10. People who can leave the table with a "we" attitude and not a "me" attitude.
Teamwork is essential to accomplishing great things. You always want people who are willing and able to grasp this concept on your team.

Commit to getting these ten types of people around the table in a shared thinking meeting and watch the results!

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today; Let us move forward with strong and active faith." --- Franklin D. Roosevelt